Me on Reality TV

I love reality TV.   I often wonder what I would be like as a reality TV star.  Would I be a controlling bitch who the rest of the cast and all of America grows to hate?  Or, would I become America's sweetheart because I'm a good listener and don't get involved in various dramas.

And, what my life would be like after my stint on TV.  Would I have celebrity friends in high places?  Would my family be featured in People magazine?

Which TV show would I be on?  Let's look at some possible scenarios. 

The Biggest Loser. 

This is one of my favorite shows. First step for me to become a contestant is to gain 100 or more pounds.  Then, get cast on the show.  Once those awful and possibly impossible steps are accomplished, I get access to amazing trainers and a beautiful kitchen.  I get to spend time at a beautiful "ranch" in Southern California and make friends with Bob, Jillian and Dolvett.  I can envision myself hugging Bob at the finale and having him say that he's proud of me.  Would I be perceived as an uptight lawyer-type like Gina from the most recent season?  Or, could I somehow channel sweet sweet Lisa and only show that side of myself?  My imagined life after Biggest Loser would be wonderful.  I would be able to quit working for other people and not have to deal with petty office bullshit.  I'd have a platform and could then become a motivational speaker; I'd spend my time traveling, working out, eating healthy and telling others that they can have a healthy body weight too.  


I need perfect conditions to sleep.  I like sleeping on my tummy with a just right pillow under my head.  I don't like being surrounded by bugs; I like being clean; I don't love camping; I don't like being thirsty or hungry; and, I'm a vegetarian.  For all those reasons, I really can't see myself ever being a castaway on Survivor.  Sign me up to be a lifetime viewer of this show. 

Shark Tank.

  This is the show which is probably the most natural fit for me.  Entrepreneurs go on this show to pitch their ideas in the hope of getting money and partners.  I'm a born entrepreneur from an entrepreneurial family.  (As a side note, I married a born entrepreneur also from an entrepreneurial family.  It'll be interesting to see how our daughter turns out.)  I'm not sure which business venture I'd pitch to them.  But, I'd love the opportunity to turn down an offer from Mr. Wonderful and form a partnership with Robert Herjavec- love him.

Project Runway.  

Fashionistas sew clothes and get judged.  The designers have either been sewing for clients for a long time, or are newly minted fashion school graduates.  They are professional clothing makers.  They are judged and mentored by famous people in the fashion world - Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, and others including guest judges.  I love this show.  But, it sometimes seems a bit odd to me.  Creations that I love are often criticized by the judges, and designs that I think are horrid are praised.  I guess fashion is in the eye of the beholder.

A Hybrid Between Master Chef + Project Runway

.  This is a show of my own creation.  Let's break down the elements.  Master Chef involves regular people (not trained chefs) who love cooking, and have some cooking skills.  Master Chef contestants work in an amazing kitchen with fabulous kitchen tools and wonderful ingredients.  Project Runway pits trained clothing designers against one another.  My hybrid TV show idea is to take people who have no formal sewing training, but who have some knack for it, and put them head to head with other kitchen table sewists.  The sewists would get access to amazing sewing machines, sergers, ruffle feet, and fabric.  Maybe they would take trips to Mood? 

Possible challenges could include:

  • Make an outfit for your daughter's (or son's) 3rd birthday party which is happening tomorrow.
  • Make your husband/brother/partner a set of work appropriate button down shirts that fit him. 
  • Make yourself a fabulous gown for some upcoming event.
  • Create a quilt for a new baby.  There can be a twist midway through this challenge to turn the quilt into a sundress.  

      Kitchen Table Sewists.

  Any casting agents in the crowd?  Consider me for season #1.